I love my kid but…

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Manisha Ferdinand shows why not loving every tiny bit of motherhood doesn’t mean you don’t love every tiny bit of your kid...

I love my kid but…

Sometimes he is a real bellend.

There is no way on God’s green earth that I’ll be following the recommendation of ‘no screen time until they’re two.’ CBeebies; you’re my rock.

I firmly believe he needs to learn to fall over and get some bumps or cuts – as long as he also knows I will always be there to pick him up and kiss it better.

I’m worried motherhood has made me incapable of talking about anything else, and I would hate to be THAT guy. (NB I definitely am.)

I sometimes still have no idea what he’s crying about, and I feel like maybe I should by now.

The moment he finally does fall asleep for the evening is one of the highlights of my day.

No-one tells you just how bloody difficult breastfeeding is.

He still hasn’t slept through the night and I’m worried that I’ve got him into a lot of bad habits that he won’t break for years.

I just can’t leave him to cry, even if probably it will help him to sleep better in the long run.

Pregnancy was physically the worst thing that ever happened to me. Glowing, my arse.

I would literally rather eat a monkey’s nut than have another one any time soon.

I really miss going out for dinner three times a week.

I have a sneaking suspicion going back to work might be much easier.

There is so much more to me than being a mother.

Sometimes I just want to run away. Or give him away. Either or.

There is nothing more boring than having to sterilise everything.

The only thing more boring than sterilising stuff is pureeing stuff.

I seriously cannot be arsed to puree anymore.

I have this sinking feeling that I will only stop worrying about him when I die. Which hopefully won’t be for a long time; which unfortunately means a LOT of worrying.

I had no idea that I would love him this much, and at times it is OVERWHELMING.

When I look at him, my heart feels like it might explode.

I have no idea how I can possibly do as good a job as my own Mum did.

I have literally no idea what I’m doing.

@noideawhat2017 @mushmums