The Second Baby Chronicles with Robyn Wilder: The five stages of wanting a second baby

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Robyn Wilder's having another baby! And she'll be writing about her pregnancy for us every couple of weeks. Here's the first instalment, in which, according to our friends at Babycentre, her unborn child is roughly the size of a lemon. So, how did she get here? Mentally, that is - we're pretty sure we understand the physical bit...

Hello! I’m Robyn and I’m a freelance journalist. I live in Kent with my husband Stuart and our two-year-old son, Herbie - and now I’m pregnant again! As I write this, I am 14 weeks gone, and am due at the end of August. Most of my sickness has disappeared, I can just about stay up past 7pm again (if I really try), and I am beginning to be able to eat some foods that aren’t carbs - I even managed a carrot yesterday.

I’m going to be wittering on about my pregnancy for Mush every other week, now, so without further ado, I’d like to present...

THE FIVE STAGES OF WANTING A SECOND BABY

1. No

That’s right - the first stage of wanting a second baby is ‘no’. Absolutely no. At least it was for me. I had just had a baby, and it wasn’t a walk in the park, and I was only 35% sure I was doing a good job of looking after it. Maybe I used to think I wanted a big family, but that was before my house was awash with muslins, I was surviving on biscuits, and trying to function on three hours’ sleep. It was a total bodyshock. I had no idea how other people did this with one baby, never mind more than one. Well, no more babies for me. No. No. No.

2. The unexpected sadness of old baby clothes

For some reason, the largesse of Herbie’s baby clothes were for one-year-olds, and I couldn’t wait for him to get into them. But when I found myself folding his newborn things and putting them away, I became unaccountably weepy. He was a lovely happy boy, but those little baby snuffling noises were gone, and I missed the tiny, nothing-weight of his newborn body. Soon the rolls of fat on his arms and legs would give way to lithe limbs. And that’s the first time the secret thought occurred to me: we could have another one.

3. Observing gaggles of children

Watching my son playing happily with his cousins or friends’ kids made my heart inflate with happiness. I’d feel proud and wistful if he shared toys with smaller children (rather than just stare at them as though they’d popped out of a box); and then having him play all alone in the corner of the room at home made me a little sad. I’d feel as though we were missing something in the house - a pet, perhaps, or a piece of furniture - or a baby.

4. Baby fever

It can hit you like a truck. I’d be walking around with my own child - who I love very much and wouldn’t change for the world - but the sight of a babe in arms would make me all wibbly in the belly. Apart from the broodiness, my husband and I started running through names over dinner; wondering what another kid would look like; internet shopping for bunk beds. We were, quite without my own volition, on a mission.

5. Uh-oh!

Bam, pregnancy! And suddenly you realise you have to deal with morning sickness WHILE looking after a toddler! But that’s another story for another week.

@orbyn @mushmums

Mush brings you anecdotal and light-hearted guides on what you can expect when pregnant and in the early years of your child's life. For more official advice and newsletters detailing your baby's development, both before and after birth, we recommend signing up to Babycentre.