Rebecca Gamble on the things you can get away with because your mum mates just get it...
Before kids, you would never dream of sending a text to a friend before 9am on a Saturday unless it was an absolute emergency, but if you both have kids, you are pretty certain she will have been up for hours. Texting at 7.30am? Standard. And if you’re both up with newborns, texting in the night when you are feeding is perfectly acceptable too – it beats playing Candy Crush..
Be a light weight
Getting a mums’ night out together can take weeks if not months of planning but despite all the build up, it’s almost certainly never going to be wild one. Even if you have managed to off-load your children out of the house for the night so you don’t need to get up early with a hangover, after all your early starts the chances are the tiredness wall is going to hit you. If you can still party like you did pre-kids? We salute you.
Have toddler smears on your clothes
Remember going to work and dropping some of your lunch on your top and dashing to the loos to clean yourself up – if it left a mark you would be mortified for the rest of the day. That’s not exactly how it happens with children. Sure you still try to clean yourself up when they wipe their nose on your trousers or spray food at you during mealtimes, but even though you are at home and could get changed, you don’t – somehow five outfit changes a day does not appeal.
Talk about poo
There’s a cliché that new mums sit around and talk about their baby’s pooing habits which would be very offensive... except of course, it’s true! If you have faced the poonami to beat all poonamis and have been through five nappies and two outfits – yours and theirs – when trying to change one nappy, you need to share it with someone.
Admit your kids can be hard work
When you know people who either can’t get pregnant or haven’t met the right person to settle down and start a family with you don’t feel it’s the most considerate thing to complain about how your little munchkins are driving you up the wall! That’s where your mum friends come in. They know letting off steam doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids; it means you are human. They’ve been there too.
Committing to plans becomes so much harder when you have children. You might have got a date in the diary a month ago, but whether it’s a baby getting a fever, passing a sickness bug onto you, being exhausted after being up all night caring for them, the chances are that even if you were the most dependable friend before you had kids, it has changed now. But your mum friends don’t complain – they do it too, and you both understand it’s not each other’s fault.